Beauty

United Methodist turned Independent Christian dabbling in the Southern Baptist Conference now interning at a Presbyterian Church in America (PCA) church while also going to a PCA seminary. And I thought I took care of all my identity crises in college.

There are customs in this reformed, liturgical Presbyterian tradition that I have grown to cherish. It has opened my eyes to the beauty of historic Christian faith and has taught me to turn a teachable heart towards the celebrated men and women of God in the past. I have gained a new appreciation for liturgy, a practice I formerly considered mindless and infantile. Reading the prayers and proclamations of others provides fodder for my own prayers, my own journaling, my own conversations with God. Yet, not for individual practice alone, the liturgy helps my heart bind itself to the people around me, to the people standing on either side of me, their voices primary against the chorus of the congregation.

However, there are things I miss from my Independent Christian churches - Christian Campus House and Hope Christian Church, like the celebratory atmosphere surrounding baptism. I'm still wrestling with the denominations' differing and often sparring doctrine on infant baptism versus believer's baptism or baptism by sprinkling, pouring, or immersion. I'm not going to deal with that struggle in this post, though I probably will in another in the future. What I'm addressing here is something else. It has less to do with the doctrine of baptism than with the sights and sounds and tactile expressions of rejoicing at someone's salvation. I miss the worship music and the testimonies beforehand and the cheering and clapping afterwards. I miss praying for that person and then getting in line to give that sopping wet brother or sister a great big hug, getting yourself wet in the process. I miss being holistically involved in the welcoming of a brother or sister into the family of Christ, whether I knew them well or not.

There are a lot of beauties in the tradition I'm experiencing right now, but, sometimes, I just want to share something precious from a tradition of my past. I know I'm a minority at my seminary as far as Christian tradition goes, and incorrect assumptions and presuppositions are to be expected. But, when people ask me about what denomination I come from, and then ask me questions about it, they more often point out why my former tradition is doctrinally unsound (I still don't believe my former tradition was doctrinally unsound, by the way) rather than search for any precious gems within it.

Seeking beauty doesn't come naturally - or at least it doesn't for me. So often I have to be overcome or immersed in beauty to appreciate it. I make conversation to be social or to find out what I disagree. I rarely talk to someone with the intent to seek and find what it beautiful about them and their experiences. I need to do that more. Maybe people would do it in return.